As you probably suspected, Hitler turns out to have been a “lousy date.”

Following an exclusive in the most recent issue of French weekly Le Point, American online media are now feasting on details of the German dictator’s alleged relationship with a French woman during World War I.

Hitler “liked to take me for walks in the countryside,” the woman, Charlotte Lobjoie, later told her son, who she claimed was Hitler’s child. “But these walks usually ended badly,” with Hitler “solely rant[ing] in German, talking to an imaginary audience.”

The article, summarized in English by Discovery News, says the child was conceived after a “tipsy” evening in June 1917, and that the boy, Jean-Marie Loret, grew up to fight in the French resistance during World War II. He began to investigate his background in the late ’70s, and supposedly found evidence — only recently revealed — that Hitler made payments to his mother, and that she owned paintings signed in his name. “A picture of a woman painted by Hitler ‘looked exactly like Loret’s mother,’ ” Le Point claims.

Loret, who was given up for adoption, wrote about his purported parentage in a 1981 memoir, “Your Father’s Name Was Hitler.” He died four years later, but his children theoretically could claim royalties from a better-known book, “Mein Kampf.”

Despite the financial rewards of establishing the connection, Loret’s children would certainly have incentives not to. “Being the only living descendants of one of history’s most reviled men probably isn’t something you’d be eager to brag about,” Jezebel says.