‘Humiliated’ hostage parents fume at negotiator Dermer: Our loved ones will be left to die
Tzvika Mor and Ditza Or, members of hawkish Tikva Forum, write scathing letter to Netanyahu confidant, saying he indicated their children are expected to wait politely in hell until their bitter end
The father of hostage Eitan Mor and the mother of captive Avinatan Or sent a letter on Thursday to Strategic Affairs Minister Ron Dermer, Israel’s chief negotiator in ceasefire talks with Hamas, saying they felt “angry, humiliated, confused and exhausted,” after meeting with him to discuss the efforts to return their loved ones from Gaza.
According to Tzvika Mor and Ditza Or, who are both affiliated with the hawkish Tikva Forum, Dermer did not even bother to ask why they sought the meeting, a request they say they made some time ago.
“You opened with an uncontrolled attack of talking, which none of us got nearly anything out of,” they wrote in the letter. “The three of us are not stupid. The few words we managed to get in edgewise were, according to you, an impolite outburst. If we were not impolite, we would not have even managed to express that little.”
Mor and Or wrote to Dermer that “the choice of this strategy (and you are not the first to take it) expresses deep disrespect toward us as people, as heartbroken parents.”
Their letter continued with an account of the meeting: “For nearly two hours, you told us in great and irritating detail about the stages of the fighting and the agreements since the start of the war. Occasionally, we asked for the focus to be on the current period and how we are dealing with the challenges before us now, but it did not help. You insisted on continuing the historical summary. Ultimately, after two irrelevant hours, there was little time left to discuss possible current courses of action, and we were already completely worn out.”
Mor and Or said that in the hours after the meeting, “we understood the enormity of the disaster.”
Dermer, a top confidant of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, was appointed to lead hostage negotiations in February, replacing Mossad chief David Barnea and Shin Bet head Ronen Bar after the premier reportedly sought to change tack.
Talks have reportedly “lost momentum” since Dermer’s appointment, with other reports claiming that the negotiating team under Dermer is displeased with his conduct. No notable breakthroughs in negotiations have occurred since Dermer assumed his new role.
“Whoever does not come out [of Gaza] in the current small group [whose release they said Dermer is seeking to negotiate] is abandoned to their fate in the depths of hell,” Mor and Or wrote in their letter. “We did not understand from you any operative proposal that will succeed in returning [all the hostages] home, or when,” they continued. “At our request, you gave an estimated time frame of 3-6 months, but without a plan of action.”
The parents wrote that they understood from Dermer’s comments that the current military operation is intended to yield another partial deal, and not the release of all the hostages, and that those families that have been most supportive of the prime minister would be discriminated against. “We understood the painful, cynical principle… Our loved ones will be abandoned in hell, and will patiently and politely wait until their bitter end. We again warn you not to dare discriminate between blood, to prioritize the lives of selected hostages at the price of others’ lives. You have no right to surrender or give up on our loved ones’ lives. Only everyone [all the captives] together.”
The Tikva Forum opposes deals that would see captives being released in stages, instead opining that the only just deal is one that sees all hostages — living and dead — released together. In the past it has opposed negotiations with Hamas and insisted on continuing the war.
On Monday, Netanyahu spoke with Mor and told him that Israel is working on a deal to release 10 hostages. The Tikva Forum, which Mor heads, released a statement after the conversation opposing such a proposal, referring to it as a “selektzia,” the Holocaust-era term used to describe Nazi Germany’s distinction between Jews deemed fit for hard labor and those sent straight to be murdered.
While many hostage families, particularly those affiliated with the Hostages and Missing Families Forum, are highly critical of government leaders’ handling of negotiations, Mor and Or’s dissatisfaction is notable because of their right-wing affiliations.
On Sunday, hundreds of demonstrators protested outside Dermer’s home in Jerusalem after Hamas published a propaganda video showing a sign of life from US-Israeli hostage Edan Alexander.
Einav Zangauker, whose son Matan is being held hostage in Gaza, accused Dermer of intentionally sabotaging negotiations: “You came in to run the negotiation in order to derail it. Your mission is to distance my son Matan from me,” she told the crowd at the protest.
Israel believes that 59 hostages are still being held by terror groups in Gaza, at least 35 of whom have been confirmed dead by the IDF. The group includes 58 hostages kidnapped on October 7, 2023, and the body of Israeli soldier Lt. Hadar Goldin, who was killed in 2014.
Since the start of the war, 139 hostages have been freed by Hamas and the bodies of eight slain hostages returned in two deals in late 2023 and early 2025. Eight hostages have been rescued by troops alive, and the bodies of 41 captives have been recovered from Gaza by the Israeli military.
The Times of Israel Community.