‘Done a lot of praying’: Family of hostage Agam Berger finds strength, hope in faith

As relatives anxiously await Agam’s possible return home, her cousin, YouTuber Ashley Waxman Bakshi, says Jewish rituals have been a source of succor since she was taken captive

Jessica Steinberg, The Times of Israel's culture and lifestyles editor, covers the Sabra scene from south to north and back to the center

  • Agam Berger, left, with her siblings Eli, Li-Yam and Bar (Courtesy)
    Agam Berger, left, with her siblings Eli, Li-Yam and Bar (Courtesy)
  • Agam Berger and her twin, Li-Yam, when they were toddlers (Courtesy)
    Agam Berger and her twin, Li-Yam, when they were toddlers (Courtesy)
  • Agam Berger, right, with her family (Courtesy)
    Agam Berger, right, with her family (Courtesy)
  • Ilai Berger, the brother of Hamas hostage Agam Berger celebrating his bar mitzvah with family members at the Western Wall on March 14, 2024. (Photo by Chaim Goldberg/Flash90)
    Ilai Berger, the brother of Hamas hostage Agam Berger celebrating his bar mitzvah with family members at the Western Wall on March 14, 2024. (Photo by Chaim Goldberg/Flash90)

With her cousin Agam Berger on the list of the 33 hostages expected to be released in the first stage of the ceasefire deal, YouTuber Ashley Waxman Bakshi headed to Tel Aviv Hostages Square on Thursday night for another evening of baking challah and praying for the safe return of the captives.

“We’ve been doing hafrashat challah events for the entire 16 months, but this is the most important one,” said Waxman Bakshi, referring to the tradition of separating a piece of challah dough to bless it. “We’ve been inviting everyone because this is the one that matters.”

Religious practice has not always been a part of the YouTuber’s life or played a major role in Agam Berger’s family life either, but according to Waxman Bakshi it has offered them all much succor in the last 16 months.

“I was completely atheist two years ago, but Agam has really inspired all of us,” she said.

When 105 hostages were released from Hamas captivity in November 2023, some of those who were held alongside with Agam told her family that she was saying blessings over her food, and that she had told her captors she wouldn’t cook food for them on the Sabbath.

These testimonies on Agam’s acts of faith and religious ritual have inspired the rest of the family since she was taken hostage during the Hamas terror onslaught on October 7, 2023, which started the Gaza war.

Family members of hostage Agam Berger celebrate her 20th birthday on August 23, 2024 with booklets of Psalms (Avshalom Sassoni/Flash90)

“We’ve done a lot of praying over the last year,” said Waxman Bakshi, who started going to synagogue for Shabbat services.

Agam’s parents, Shlomi and Merav, have been observing Shabbat since Agam was taken hostage, taking their faith “to the next level,” said Waxman Bakshi.

“I think it’s a good thing, I think it helps them,” she said.

Like many hostage families, the Bergers have also worked to keep the image of Agam and the other hostages in the public eye, organizing various kinds of activities and concerts, as she has played the violin since she was a child.

A video of Agam playing the violin in her room was the acoustic background for a performance by the judges in Wednesday night’s final of the “Hakochav Haba” (Rising Star) reality contest, which selects the singer to represent Israel at the Eurovision.

Hostage Agam Berger, shown playing the violin in her Holon bedroom before being taken captive in October 2023, was the acoustic background for the Kochav HaNolad judges on January 22, 2025 (Screenshot: YouTube)

Berger, now 20, one of the surveillance soldiers taken captive by Hamas terrorists from the IDF surveillance unit at the Nahal Oz army base, is one of the 12 women and children who are on the list of 33 hostages.

She may be one of the four women expected to be released on Saturday.

“I want her to come home as [much as] if she was my sister,” said Waxman Bakshi, who is a second cousin to Shlomi Berger, Agam’s father.

Waxman Bakshi, 39, grew up in Canada, the daughter of two Israeli parents, and moved to Israel in 2006.

Her mother and Agam’s grandmother were close as children, and Waxman Bakshi’s older brothers played as children with Shlomi Berger.

However, in their large, extended family, Waxman Bakshi, who is 19 years older than Agam, didn’t know her younger cousin all that well.

She heard this year that Berger was a big fan of her YouTube makeup tutorials, like many young Israeli women her age.

On October 7, 2023, when news began filtering in that Agam may have been taken hostage, Waxman Bakshi was focused on her husband’s first cousin, who they had just heard was killed at the Nova rave, and other family members being called up to fight in the Gaza Strip.

Agam Berger, a hostage being held in Gaza (Courtesy)

“A lot was going on, and my mother kept telling me that Hana’s granddaughter, Agam, was maybe one of the hostages,” said Waxman Bakshi. “Everything was so chaotic, I honestly thought we’d find her.”

She headed to the US to do Israel advocacy work for seven weeks, and by the time she returned to Israel, it had long been confirmed that Agam was one of the 251 hostages taken captive during the Hamas-led atrocities.

Berger had been identified in a Hamas Telegram video, in which she was seen being led to a car, bloodied and still dressed in her pajamas.

Agam’s parents, Merav and Shlomi Berger, asked Waxman Berger to get involved and be the public voice for the family.

“They didn’t want to be interviewed, they said their English wasn’t good enough,” she said.

Ashley Waxman Bakshi, left, shows a photo of her cousin Agam Berger, one of the hostages being held by Hamas, flanked by Agam’s sister, Li-Yam Berger, during a press conference in Rome, April 8, 2024. (AP/Alessandra Tarantino)

As Waxman Berger met the other hostage families, including the parents of the other four female surveillance soldiers, they told her that their daughters had grown up watching her makeup videos.

“I said, “Okay, this is Hashem calling on me,'” said Waxman Bakshi, using a Hebrew term for God.

Since then, Waxman Bakshi, who recently joined professional forces with former Israeli government spokesman Eylon Levy, has become a public advocacy figure for Israel. She usually posts on Instagram, often with a full face of makeup but not always.

As she’s focused on lobbying for Agam’s release, Waxman Bakshi’s YouTube channel and makeup line in recent months has taken a back seat to her advocacy work.

“I thought, ‘Do I really want to go back to eyeshadow?” said Waxman Bakshi, who is considering doing advocacy work full-time.

During the last 16 months, she joined delegations of the Hostages and Missing Families Forum on trips abroad, meeting foreign leaders and politicians as part of the struggle to bring the hostages home.

Agam’s parents didn’t want to travel out of the country in case their daughter was possibly rescued and returned home.

Ilai Berger, the brother of Hamas hostage Agam Berger, celebrating his Bar Mitzvah with his parents and two other sisters at the Western Wall on March 14, 2024. (Chaim Goldberg/Flash90)

They also wanted to make sure their three other children, Agam’s twin sister Li-Yam, another sister Bar and younger brother Ilai continue to thrive.

Li-Yam Berger recently finished an officer’s training course and her younger sister, Bar, enlisted in the army two months ago. Ilai marked his Bar Mitzvah at the Western Wall last year.

“They’re amazing parents, they really have their act together,” said Waxman Bakshi. “They could have been so depressed and destroyed the lives of all their children, but their faith is strong, they’re holding onto hope.”

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