How I met my bashert

I’m dancing again

Hassidic blogger Elad Nehorai shares a poignant Tu B’Av story of disappointment and a dream fulfilled

Still dancing  (photo credit: courtesy)
Still dancing (photo credit: courtesy)

I met my wife in middle school. We didn’t date then, mind you. It would take about 13 more years before that would happen.

See, I was the dorky new kid — the kid with the big glasses and the lanky frame. My wife was cool and had “friends”.

In high school, not much changed. She was still out of my league. And besides, my best friend had a huge crush on her, which basically prevented me from ever thinking about her “that way”.

Then college hit. We didn’t talk for years. She was off at Rutgers being an artist. I was off at ASU being a hippie.

Fast forward to my super-super senior year. I was becoming religious. And I noticed on Facebook that she was also, and had a bit of a head start on me.

So, I asked her for some advice.

We were soon talking a few times a week. She became my mentor, giving me advice on where to go to yeshiva and stuff. Then the summer hit and we were both in Chicago. I thought, “Why not?” So I asked her out. She said sure.

I did a little dance around the room.

A few days later, she said no. She had changed her mind. I was going to Israel for a year. She was staying in America. Plus, she just wasn’t feeling it.

I stopped dancing.

Fast forward again to the next summer. I hadn’t spoken to her in a year, but I was back in Chicago, kind of bored. So, I thought to myself, might as well ask her to hang out. So I texted her.

She texted back: “I don’t feel comfortable hanging out as friends. How about going on a date.”

Two months later, we were engaged. And three months after that we were married.

And I’m dancing again.

Read more Tu B’Av tales here.

Elad Nehorai is a writer living in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. Five years ago, he became a religious Jew in the Chabad Hassidic community and has since written about his experience extensively, most recently in his blog Pop Chassid. You can find him on Twitter as @PopChassid and Facebook.

Have you found your bashert? Please share your story with us at social@timesofisrael.com, and we may feature it in our Times of Israel Tu B’Av Special.

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