Sliced bagel ‘crime’ sparks internet outrage
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Holey abomination

Sliced bagel ‘crime’ sparks internet outrage

Turns out residents of St. Louis slice their bagels like bread. The internet was having none of it

Bagels sliced like bread cause internet outrage. (Twitter)
Bagels sliced like bread cause internet outrage. (Twitter)

WASHINGTON — There’s a bitter feud between New York and Montreal over their bagels, but there appears to be one thing even these foes can agree on — don’t slice them St. Louis style.

A St. Louis weatherman, now based in Washington DC, set off an internet firestorm in recent days when he posted a picture of the bagels he brought into work — sliced like loaves of bread.

The reactions, particularly from New Yorkers, ranged from outrage to horror, going all the way up to the chief of police and Senator Chuck Schumer.

“Today I introduced my coworkers to the St Louis secret of ordering bagels bread sliced. It was a hit!,” tweeted Alek Krautmann, along with a picture most likely to be offered as “exhibit A.”

People didn’t hold back on their feelings when confronted with this “atrocity,” with one person even suggesting Krautmann deserved to be sent to Guantanamo Bay for his crime.

And New York Police Chief Dermot Shea confirmed that, indeed, a crime had been committed.

“Thank you for reporting this crime, but we only serve New York City, where this would NEVER happen,” he tweeted.

Even New York Senator Chuck Schumer weighed in.

“On behalf of the New York Delegation: St. Louis, fuhgeddaboudit,” he tweeted.

In Montreal, the reactions were calmer, holding that anything made outside the city wasn’t a proper bagel anyway.

Others took the opportunity to show off their St. Louis versions of other foods.

The only people who didn’t seem to understand what the fuss was about was the Panera bread chain, who had sliced the bagels for Krautmann.

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