We’re sorry

If I could do it over, this last year I would have been less judgmental about people. I would have accepted that people do things for reasons that I may have no clue of. Instead of judging, I would like to have had even more empathy in my heart for people.

— Anonymous

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I wish I hadn’t gotten so stressed out during the renovation of our home. Intense stress weakens the immune system, leaving you more susceptible to all kinds of bugs and things. In my case it was a nasty upper respiratory tract infection and eczema that I am still struggling with months later. Even a lovely bright and shiny new home is not worth it if it’s at the expense of your health. The lesson learned? By all means, go ahead with the home makeover – renewal is essential. But try not to be such a control freak during the process, take it all in your stride, and above all, breathe deeply when the contractor is gruff, the carpenter isn’t done on time, or the tiles aren’t perfectly even!

— Leanne Ravid

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I regret that I have not yet found the words that will persuade American Jews to reorganize their priorities during this election. The spark in their souls that tells of their bond with their people and their homeland is now so dim as to be nearly extinguished. Iran threatens their brethren, threatens Israel, and they do not care. They care only about marginal societal issues that largely don’t affect them personally but perhaps someone they know or might know someday — gay marriage and abortion — while Israel’s neck is on the executioner’s block.

They care about gay marriage and abortion while the debt and unemployment have reached monstrous proportions.

They care about gay marriage and abortion as their president drives our allies out of office and supports religious extremists. They are blind, so blind. And I can’t make them see.

I am too quick to react. I resolve to wait where doing so will harm no one and may lead to greater clarity in my relationships with others.

I tend to hold on to resentments. I resolve to let go of anger and resentment, to forgive even without being asked to forgive, to avoid allowing insults to touch me on a deep level. I resolve to listen to my children and my husband: to look them in the eyes and give them my fullest attention whenever they address me. I resolve to be there for my friends.

— Varda Epstein

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I regret not following through on certain promises I made. I regret flaking out of obligations. I regret that I sometimes choose Facebook over my children, and have hit “reject” when certain family members call.

— Anonymous

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I would like to take a spirit of forgiveness from Yom Kippur and keep it close beside me through the rest of the year. To be more patient with my wife and my children, and to give them the love and attention that they need. No matter how much work has piled up.

— Anonymous

***

I cannot say I would have done anything differently, because I believe I have tried my best regardless of what may not have turned out the way I wished or planned. However, what I will atone and strive for this year is to be a better person, because we all can strive to do that.

The most important mission, though, is to help a Jewish friend in Bucharest in whatever way he may need my help. He is ill and needs financial help. I cannot provide that but I do believe I can assist in seeing him get the help he needs.

I’m not Jewish but I love the Jewish people as though I were. My friend is a gift from God and I know that the Jews went through horrible atrocities in Romania. It is my obligation to reach out and do what I can.

— Anonymous

***

I have plenty of things to atone for this year, beginning with having more patience for my kids and not spending inordinate amounts of time on social media sites. But I also feel this year that in order to make a true heshbon hanefesh I need to first take care of myself more — whether that means standing up for myself at home and in the workplace, saying “no” to excessive demands for my time and energy, or going for a massage when the tension in my life needs an escape outlet. After all, as the airplane instructions tell us, you can’t take care of others without first securing your own oxygen mask. G’mar hatima tova l’hol Am Yisrael.

— Lori Silberman Brauner

***

I wish I would have trusted myself more. Looking back, I see I was faced several times with situations that I didn’t handle well and I knew it. I tried to justify the alarms going off in my head with situational circumstances. I learned that my gut instinct is almost always right, and by not listening to it I do a disservice not only to myself, but to others around me who are affected by my actions. I regret being fearful about sharing my feelings and emotions. I regret not letting my voice be heard and for standing silent when I should have spoken up. I regret not being more patient and appreciative with those near and dear to me who sought to aid. What I regret the most is allowing myself to be a victim, and that the choice to turn misfortune into opportunity for change (while not too late) wasn’t taken sooner.

— Anonymous

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I ask forgiveness for those times when I showed impatience or irritation to my daughter or other people. I hope that I will have the strength, clarity and character to find ways to be more patient with my daughter and will find ways to help her through her challenges.

— Anonymous

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This year I’m atoning for allowing myself to be the object rather than the subject, suffering from rather than fighting against.

— Anonymous

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I am sorry that by being true to myself I hurt others.

— Sarah Tuttle-Singer

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I always knew what I’d do if I was ever in this situation. It was a no-brainer. Yet, here I was in that situation and I honestly did not know what to do. Thoughts shot through my brain.

“What will other people think?”
“I don’t want to cause a scene”
“I can’t do that!”

It was wrong and I knew it as it happened. I felt nauseous but I didn’t do what I knew I should have done. Inside I was screaming.

But I didn’t say “no.”

— Anonymous

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I wish I had devoted less time to projects and causes and more time to people. They needed me more — and I needed them more — than the projects and causes.

— Anonymous

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To my family, I apologize for the amount of time I spend on my work and other public projects. I wish I wasn’t always rushing and stressing. To all those outside my family I apologize for not getting enough done, for taking too long, for letting things slip, and for any shoddy work done when I was too tired. There is a lot to juggle. To my family, colleagues and friends, I apologize for the amount of time I spend in the evenings watching action movies — but we all need to relax in our own may. May Yom Kippur help me and all of us find the balance we seek. Gmar hatima tova to everybody.

— Zev Farber

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As I reflect on this eve of Yom Kippur, I can’t help but think of how much time I wasted this year regretting the past and anxiously anticipating the future — all at the expense of living in the now. My hope is that this year I will focus my mind on more productive thinking. Analysis of the past can be valuable to the extent that it helps you prepare for the future. However, when it becomes an endless cycle of rehashing yet not resolving prior events, I think the best thing is to teach yourself how to move on and to optimize the experience of the present. Anxiety- and stress-filled visions of the future are also crippling. Again, this is not to say one shouldn’t prepare for the future, but excessive worrying is anything but productive. Better to turn that anxiety into excitement, and relish life’s uncertainties.

— Anonymous

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I ask for forgiveness for those times when I wasn’t patient or compassionate enough with my daughter, and I ask for the strength and character to find ways to help her with her challenges, nurture her and to be a good role model for her.

— Anonymous