Moran Stela Yanai, a former hostage in Gaza who was freed in late November, hints at having been subject to sexual abuse during her time in captivity but says she is not yet ready to talk about it in detail.
“There was this constant fear of being raped at any moment. And then a day passes, and another one passes. So you prepare yourself — you neglect yourself,” she says. “I’m not especially beautiful, I don’t smell very good at all. You know, so that you repel them. I’m old, I’m 40, I’m ‘hatiar,'” she tells Channel 12’s “Uvda” investigative program, using an Arab slang term that means old person.
Yanai, 40, was taken from the Supernova festival at Kibbutz Re’im on October 7. It was the scene of a bloody massacre of some 360 people and widespread abductions by Hamas terrorists. She returned with 104 others over the course of a weeklong truce in late November, after some 50 days as a hostage in Gaza.
Her testimony offers a window into the hesitancy of some sexual assault survivors to open up publicly about their deeply personal suffering, amid attempts by some anti-Israel activists and international media outlets to cast doubt on claims of rape and other sexual abuses by Hamas terrorists on October 7 and in captivity in Gaza.
Yanai says their captors would make them “go through ‘necessary’ [bodily] inspection when we’d arrive at certain places,” declining to elaborate.
Noa Argamani, 26, who was taken captive by Hamas terrorists on October 7, 2023 during a massacre at the Supernova desert rave. (Courtesy)
“From my point of view, the sexual harassment I suffered doesn’t quite fit the definition of the term,” she says, becoming emotional. “When [the hostages] come back, I will deal with the accurate definition of it.”
“For me, right now, I have to dissociate myself from it. Because however you look at it, they took away your freedom, they took everything, you have nothing, nothing is really yours, you don’t belong to yourself. The only thing that belongs to you is what you have up here,” she gestures to her head.
Yanai reveals that she was held with Noa Argamani, 26, who was also taken from the music festival on October 7. Argamani was seen in one of the first Hamas videos released during the massacre at the Supernova desert rave, seated on the back of a motorcycle behind her Hamas captor, screaming, “Don’t kill me!”
Yanai says she left thinking that Argamani would also be released in the coming days and feels immense guilt for being the one to go free.
The moment in November when the captors told them that one of them would be freed was “absolutely terrible,” she says. “It was like a reality show. They sat us down. A terrorist comes in and says ‘One of you is going home,'” she gestures with her finger from one person to the other to demonstrate a selection process.
She also reveals that she was held at least part of the time with Itay Svirsky, 38, who was killed in captivity.
Itay Svirsky was taken captive on October 7, 2023, from his mother’s house in Kibbutz Be’eri, when Hamas terrorists assaulted the community. He was declared dead on January 16, 2024. (Courtesy)
“I’m not [really] here,” she says. Everything I do…[drinking coffee, shopping, strolling] for a moment it [may] bring a smile to my face because it’s pleasant…but then it falls after a second because I remember that there’s someone [a female hostage] who is sitting on the same mattress you sat on until just a moment ago.”