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Kerry-mocking site now jeers in English

John Kerry Solutions Ltd., a settler-produced site unveiled last month, portrays secretary of state as a bumbling idiot

John Kerry of John Kerry Solutions Ltd. (screen capture: YouTube)
John Kerry of John Kerry Solutions Ltd. (screen capture: YouTube)

A parody site launched to satirize John Kerry and his efforts at brokering Middle East peace is now delivering his watered-down pastiche in English.

John Kerry Solutions Ltd., which was launched last month by the organization My Israel with the backing of the Yesha Council — the umbrella council of West Bank settlements — is a composite of slapstick animated videos, bad-wig YouTube spots and a handful of semi-biting sections and articles, all designed to mock the secretary of state and his frequent-flier mile-heavy attempts at creating an Israeli-Palestinian peace deal.

The website for “John Kerry Solutions Ltd.,” at, paints the secretary of state as a huckster peddling solutions — ranging from the merely half-baked to the downright ridiculous — to a plethora of problems.

“Having issues with a friend? Need an original idea for a costume?” reads a page on the site titled “About John.”

You can probably guess where it goes from there: “John has the answer! John Kerry Solutions Ltd. We don’t have good solutions, but you’ve got to try something, right?”

Another page presents “testimonials” from “customers” thanking Kerry for solving their problems.

Here’s one:

Dear John,
What a creative solution! It’s so great that you managed to save my position at the Bushehr nuclear reactor. Don’t worry, we’re preparing a large gift for you. It’ll be da bomb…

The site was launched in Hebrew in January as part of the Yesha Council’s broader campaign to pressure Kerry against withdrawing from the West Bank. In addition to helping roll out the site’s English-language version, the Yesha Council is also purchasing ominous ads on billboards and in Israeli newspapers, trumpeting the security benefits of the West Bank and insisting Israel’s defense would be at grave risk should the land be handed over to the Palestinians.

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