Drunk on itself, press nurses a news hangover

With much of the country inebriated and incapable of creating news on Sunday’s Purim holiday, Monday’s Hebrew newspapers take on a variety of issues in an effort to convince their editors they weren’t so insensate they couldn’t work. With little local news to fall back on, the papers take radically different approaches to their top story, demonstrating what matters to them most and what agenda should matter to their readers.

The never-ending saga of Israel’s gas reserves, a favorite topic of Haaretz editors and the intellectually masochistic, gets top billing in the liberal paper. By combining the esoteric minutiae of the gas deal, which nobody understands, with State Comptroller Yosef Shapira, a man nobody but Mrs. Shapira cares about, Haaretz has created the most boring top story in Israeli history. “The state comptroller stands with the gas monopoly and warns of renewed discussion about the price,” reads the snooze-worthy front page headline. The secular elite readers in Tel Aviv were no doubt so bored by the headline they opted to drive to Jerusalem to attend a Purim Megillah reading instead of continuing with the article.

Much sexier is the anticipated visit of Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte, whom Haaretz points out has been accused of killing civilians, cussed out former US president Barack Obama and compared himself to Adolf Hitler.

The blowup between the Dutch and the Turks over the expulsion of a Turkish minister ahead of Holland’s national elections and a referendum to give Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan greater powers draws the attention of Israel Hayom. The paper is so giddy about the prospect of far-right leader Geert Wilders winning the upcoming Dutch election that it sent right-wing political lapdog and newshound Boaz Bismuth to stick his snout wherever there might be a story. He happens to find “the Dutchman in the street” who confirms what the paper believes: Amsterdam’s resistance against the Turk is great. “I don’t remember when I was proud of Holland as I am proud today.”

Embedded in its reporting on the modern politics is a sidebar piece about “The Ottoman shadow over Europe: A return to the siege of Vienna.” The article says that in light of the diplomatic spat between the Dutch and the Turks, “many are reminded of a different era in history — in which the battles the Turks waged against Europe weren’t just verbal.” Shockingly, the paper makes no mention in its headline of Erdogan’s remark calling the Dutch Nazis, which would have been par for the course.

Bismuth’s anti-Turkish, anti-immigrant bent is clear from his reporting. He writes that Turkey understood that “Christian Europe (Germany and France) blocked its entrance to the EU (imagine 70 million Muslims entering Europe from the front door).” There are currently around 80 million people living in Turkey. Does Bismuth seriously believe almost the entire country will move to Europe, or is he being a sensationalist parrot for the far-right?

Keeping to its local and populist agenda, Yedioth Ahronoth reports that an internal IDF memorandum has called for girlfriends of soldiers killed in action to get assistance and notification from the military, just as a wife would.

“After a prolonged fight by the mourning girlfriends [of fallen soldiers] from [Operation] Protective Edge against the army, the protocols changed and the document officially sets the path to true and deep healing,” the paper reports. If the family informs the army that the soldier had a girlfriend, “the IDF will help bring her immediately to the home of the fallen soldier’s family.” If the girlfriend serves in the army, she will be informed by her commanding officer, “and they will also attend to transporting and escorting her.”

She will be legally entitled to vacation from the day of the soldier’s death until he’s buried, and for the traditional week of mourning thereafter. If she should be interested, her contact information will be given to a support group for girlfriends of fallen IDF soldiers.

The paper also reports that Likud ministers Miri Regev and Ze’ev Elkin have proposed the establishment of a “Temple Mount Heritage Foundation” with the purpose of explaining the Jewish connection to the contested holy site throughout history, with a NIS 2 million per year budget. It’s sure to note that the government already funds the Western Wall Heritage Fund, and that this proposed foundation comes as a direct response to last October’s UNESCO resolution ignoring the Jewish connection to the Temple Mount. Their proposal will be brought before the cabinet for a vote, the paper reports.

Only Maariv makes the release of Ahmed Daqamseh its main story. “The release of the murderer causes us great distress,” its headline quotes a parent of one of the girls he killed saying. The focus, as expected, is on this side of the Jordanian border, but stands out for having an Arab reporter who covered Daqamseh’s release from Jordan. Israel Hayom takes a similar tack, quoting the mother of a girl killed in the 1997 shooting saying that Daqamseh’s release is “a punch in the stomach.”

The story takes a low billing on Haaretz’s front page. It reports that Daqamseh’s relatives said he was supposed to be released later in the day, but Jordanian officials let him out in the dead of night so as to prevent celebrations.