NY Times names ‘Yenta of the Senate’

If Chuck Schumer ever gets voted out of office, he could probably land a new job at JDate — with a hearty endorsement from the New York Times.

The senior senator from New York was dubbed “the Yenta of the Senate” over the weekend by his hometown newspaper, in a charming puff piece about the number of marriages celebrated among members of his office. With two more weddings set to take place between Schumer underlings this fall, the politician has racked up “an average of nearly one ‘Schumer Marriage’ (his term) for each year he has spent in the Senate,” the Times reports.

In traditional busybody style, shadchan (matchmaker) Schumer “keeps close track of office romances,” the newspaper notes, and sounds quite skilled at applying passive-aggressive pressure. When staffers’ relationships aren’t progressing as quickly as he’d like, the 61-year-old Democrat is apparently known to ask, “What’s the holdup?,” which puts us in mind of a few octogenarian grandmothers we know.

The Times notes that Schumer likes to paraphrase the Torah — “God to man: be fruitful and multiply” — and signed the ketuba during at least one of the weddings he helped to bring about.

He also sounds like a fun reception guest, known for enjoying songs such as “Love Train” and “It’s Raining Men.”

Like a good yenta, the senator knows his work is never finished, even after the wedding. ““Have kids; have a lot of kids,” the married father of two tells his underlings. “Start early and keep having them.”