The tax man saveth

What’s the only thing Israelis hate more than mad mullahs running around with nuclear weapons while dressed in sheep’s clothing? Taxes.

One day after Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu failed to stop the West from inking a nuclear pact with Iran, white knight Yair Lapid rode in Monday in to slay the dragon of new taxes… that he, um, imposed himself.

But while some papers are overjoyed, there’s more than a hint of curmudgeonliness afloat. This is, after all, still Israel.

Yedioth Ahronoth leads off the with no new taxes story, reporting that both the Finance Ministry and Bank of Israel were all for raising taxes but Hero-of-Our-Time Lapid took a stand against them. “The responsible thing isn’t just to raise taxes when necessary but also to lower them and spur growth when the situation improves,” the paper quotes him saying at a news conference.

Yedioth also thoughtfully includes a chart showing how much Israelis might have paid had the move not been halted. Those making NIS 60,000 a month ($16,900) won’t be paying an extra NIS 1,024 ($288), meaning they can go ahead and get that caviar and diamond-crusted fur iPad they’ve been dreaming about.

Maariv, which tactfully illustrates the story with a drawing of Lapid fleeing from a pack of yipping dogs (what is it trying to say?), pours some cold water on the economic party by reporting that Israelis are still 30 percent more in debt than they were four years ago, thanks to skyrocketing home prices. Aryeh Aplatoni opines in the paper that there is little cause for joy in the wake of the tax-freeze announcement, which is but a tiny drop in the bucket compared to Israelis’ other financial woes. “When your rent goes up every year, when bags from the supermarket just empty out between shopping trips, when school payments grow, there’s no reason to celebrate not paying more taxes,” he writes.

Israel Hayom’s Motti Tochfeld, on the other hand, takes a much more sanguine view, asking who in their right mind could be against lower taxes (because those poor people who benefit from social welfare programs funded by taxes don’t count, natch). “The announcement by Lapid yesterday on the lowering of taxes may not be a handing out of money, but there’s no doubt that it’s very difficult to find opposition. Who exactly is against paying less taxes?” he asks.

Speaking of quashing dissent, Haaretz reports that the West is getting mighty taxed by all this Israeli naysaying over the Iranian nuclear deal. The paper reports that beyond British Foreign Secretary William Hague’s warning to Israel not to mess up the deal, a number of other powers also sent quieter messages to Jerusalem. “Western diplomats said it was made clear to Israel that instead of complaining about what was, Jerusalem should instead focus its efforts on what will be, by beginning to work with the powers over the next six months, ahead of the negotiations with Iran over a final agreement,” Barak Ravid reports, before trying to get cutesy.

“The Prime Minister’s Office, as well as the rest of Israel’s defense establishment, is beginning to realize that it must face reality. To borrow from the Kübler-Ross model of grieving, the Israeli government on Saturday and Sunday underwent the stages of anger, bargaining, and depression. In Washington, London, and Paris, they hope that Israel will reach the acceptance stage as soon as possible, and focus on the future.”

In Maariv, Shlomo Yerushalmi takes the stance that the Iran deal will actually turn out in Israel’s favor vis-à-vis the Palestinians, as the US will think twice about criticizing Israel on settlements when it’s already down on Iran. Then again, he says, the Americans could just say screw it, and heap their unhappiness on Jerusalem.

“The second thesis is that the dealings with Iran won’t subdue Kerry’s messianic zeal for an agreement between Israel and the Palestinians. Kerry will continue to pressure where he sees fit, even if they call him an ‘unfair broker’ here. Kerry may even add to his obsession some rage against Netanyahu, which he has done little to hide.”

Monkeys, rats or viruses

Talks aren’t the only thing linking the Palestinians and Iran. Ron Bryman in Israel Hayom’s op-ed section writes that the two also employ the same kind of anti-Israel, anti-Semitic incitement. “The comparisons used by Abbas and his cohorts in their education system on Israel and the Jews are no different from those used by Khamenei. To both of them Jews are monkeys, rats or viruses.”

Haaretz’s editorial, meanwhile, tackles a new bill that would keep dissent under wraps. And shocker of shockers, the paper is not happy about it: “In Israel there is not one single law that enshrines freedom of expression as a constitutional value. The media in general, and the investigative media in particular, are constantly constrained by political pressures and caught in the vise of economic interests. It is strange that the attorney general is promoting legislation that of all things will make it more difficult for the public to learn of the integrity of its elected officials and of the actions of public figures. More than anything else, the concealment bill serves individuals under investigation who are high up on the food chain — in other words, already powerful individuals — and the prosecution and police.”