Mila Kunis: Men aren’t pregnant!

Poor late night TV host Jimmy Kimmel. He “innocently” let expectant mother Mila Kunis know that, like her and her fiancé Ashton Kutcher, he and his wife “are pregnant.” Before he knew what was happening, the actress, got up from the couch, grabbed a microphone and launched into a tirade against all those “pregnant” men out there.

Kunis, 30, began her “message for all you soon-too-be fathers” with the declaration, “You’re not pregnant!” and then followed it up with some rhetorical questions like,

“Do you have to squeeze a watermelon-size person out of your lady hole?”

“Are you crying alone in your car listening to a stupid Bette Midler song?”

“When you wake up and throw up, is it because you are nurturing a human being and not because you drank too many shots of tequila?”

“The answer to these is, of course, a definitive ‘No!’”

Kunis finished her speech by accusing men of rolling over and falling asleep after impregnating their women with their “love goblins.” She joined a group of pregnant women holding containers of ice cream and made her point clear once and for all. “You’re not pregnant. We are!” she and the other soon-to-be mothers exclaimed.

Some might recommend that Kunis, who is keeping the due date of her baby under wraps, should chill (the ice cream might help).

She should also probably apologize to the Divine Miss M. She can always blame the slight on pregnancy hormones…another thing that “pregnant” men don’t have the pleasure of experiencing.