‘Masturbators’ hands will get pregnant’

Muslim televangelist Mücahid Cihad Han warned followers this week that masturbation would cause a man’s hand to become “pregnant in the afterlife,” sparking a raucous and raunchy social media response, the Turkish Hurriyet Daily News site reported.

A 24-year-old viewer called in to Han’s show Sunday, complaining that he “kept masturbating, although he was married, and even during the Umrah,” a religious pilgrimage to Mecca, similar to the Hajj.

Han was initially stumped.

“If our viewer was single, I could recommend he marry,” he said. “But what can I say now?”

The television personality, whose program appears on the privately owned Turkish 2000 TV station, recalled a hadith — an account of the Prophet Muhammad’s sayings — that dealt with the issue.

“One hadith states that those who have sexual intercourse with their hands will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife,” he said, “complaining against them to God over its rights.”

Twitter users quickly responded to Han’s remarks and more joined in after his statements were published in Turkish newspapers. Some just called his comment ridiculous, while others questioned the mechanics of a hand getting pregnant.

“So you think that being pregnant is a God-given punishment?” another user asked Han.

“Are there any hand-gynecologists in the afterlife? Is abortion allowed there?” another said.