Please don’t read us in the smallest room

We at the Times of Israel want you to read the Times of Israel — at home, on the bus, in line at the bank.

But as hard as it is to tear yourself away, there’s one place you should avoid reading us — on the toilet. Smartphones, e-books and other wireless devices, it turns out, are much more hospitable to bathroom bacteria than old-fashioned newspapers, and now there are gross statistics to prove it.

In an article headlined “Is reading on the loo bad for you?,” England’s Guardian newspaper explores this vitally important topic — and concludes, with the help of an Israeli expert, that reading, beyond its capabilities as a distraction, doesn’t serve much purpose in the bathroom. (Unless you’re trying to get through “Ulysses” and the works of Rabelais, which is apparently how Henry Miller spent his time in there.)

Israelis, as we’ve reported, are globally renowned for their scientific research, and we can now add to that distinguished list Ron Shaoul, a pediatric gastroenterologist in Haifa. A doctor at the city’s Bnai Zion Medical Center, Shaoul is also the author of an academic paper entitled — we s*** you not — “Toilet reading habits in Israeli adults,” a study of 499 of his countrymen. (Key finding: “Toilet reading is a common and benign habit.”)

You can read all of Shaoul’s paper in a back issue of Neurogastroenterology and Motility, which we’re sure you have lying around. But for the sake of your health and hygiene, if you’re going to look at it on a wireless device, please remember where not to read it.