Shia LaBeouf? More like Shia LaBuff!
The Jewish actor shows why he’s God’s gift; Harvey Weinstein on a power trip; Natalie Portman as the sexiest astrophysicist ever
NEW YORK — Shia LeBeouf, the Jewish-American star best known for being upstaged by talking cars in the “Transformers” films, is hoping to change his image in a new arthouse picture. “Nymphomaniac” is the latest envelope-pusher by Danish auteur Lars von Trier.
The gifted filmmaker with a knack for putting his foot in his mouth (his attempt at a self-effacing remark at a Cannes press conference ended up in an inappropriate Hitler joke that made international headlines) has muzzled himself this time from the typical movieland publicity. As such, he has been releasing a trail of breadcrumbs about his latest film in the form of short Internet clips.
The newest one featured some rather frank (but tasteful!) sex scenes and nude shots featuring LaBeouf, the would-be heir to the Indiana Jones hat and whip if that last movie didn’t stink so badly. Whereas the previous three “Nymphomaniac” clips went up on all the usual video streaming platforms, this new one violated YouTube’s service agreement for “explicit content.” You can still find it, but we’re not linking!
“Nymphomaniac” will come out on Christmas Day in Denmark, and will be seen by the rest of the world at one of 2014’s major festivals – either Sundance in January or Berlin in February.
Is Paula Abdul the next Israeli Idol?
The former dance partner of MC Skat Cat and Coca-Cola shill came to Israel for a bat mitzvah at the age of… well, no need to get into specifics on that, but let’s just say a few years past the traditional number. Originally she intended to hold the event at the Kotel, but cooler heads prevailed. A private ceremony was held in Safed. We can only hope Simon Cowell wasn’t there to issue critiques to the band at the party.
Shonda of the Week
Legendary entertainment titan Harvey Weinstein has done more than his share of mitzvot when it comes to distributing films by emerging and international talent. But he’s also been known to make stylistic changes against the wishes of artists – seemingly for the sake of his own ego. The newest controversy barreling down the tracks is “Snowpiercer,” a metaphorical sci-fi movie set on a train.
The film is already a huge hit in South Korea and France and, despite director Bong Joon-ho claiming that his version “tested better,” Weinstein is still planning to release a version missing twenty minutes in North America.
This doesn’t even make any business sense – as the type of person ready to see an oddball movie like this (it stars Tilda Swinton) isn’t typically demanding of dumbed-down material, and the removed section isn’t enough time to fit in an additional screening at the multiplex. This just smells of a power trip.
Harvey Weinstein, you are our Shonda of the Week.
New from Hollywood
Thor: The Dark World: Natalie Portman returns as Dr. Jane Foster, an astrophysicist who blurts out things like “that’s a quantum field generator!” Her heart is still broken because of that sheygetz Thor, the muscle-bound blonde always making with the hammer. Natalie gets zetzed with some sort demonic goo called the Aether and it’s up to Space Goy to fly in and save her and the rest of the Universe. Thor’s trickster brother Loki shows up, too. This latest entry in the Marvel Movie Universe is a great deal of fun, if you like this sort of thing.
The Book Thief: Geoffrey Rush plays the proverbial “good German,” one who takes in a daughter of a fleeing Communist and hides a Jew in his basement during World War II. Based on a bestselling book, this movie adaptation goes all-in on the shmaltz, with the fable-ish home set on the cobble-stoned Himmelsstraße and narrated by a jaunty Angel of Death. While a little heavy-handed, “The Book Thief” does a good job showing how the Third Reich’s brainwashing techniques went after the young, and how brave the individuals were who stood up to them.
How I Live Now: Based on the Jewish author Meg Rosoff’s young adult bestseller, “How I Live Now” is part survival horror, part soap opera. Saoirse Ronan, whose name I can finally spell, is an American staying with her distant cousins in the British countryside. International tensions have flared up to apocalyptic levels, and when a nuclear blast levels London our band of youngsters (which now includes a romance, naturally) must stick together at all costs. The scenes devoted to fraying social structures are fascinating. The scenes devoted to teen romance don’t have the needed oomph the take them seriously.
Go For Sisters: Legendary independent filmmaker John Sayles is back with another social realist tale wrapped in unambiguous humanism. Two middle-aged African-American women, one a parole officer, another her client, must join forces to try and rescue a young man – the parole officer’s son – who has gotten mixed up with Mexican mobsters. The plot itself is standard, but the empathy for the characters is unique. The Jewish connection is tenuous, but I’m going for it: When we first meet our parole officer she is neck-deep in the stress of her job. She orders a to-go lunch, a turkey sandwich with Russian dressing and a Dr. Brown’s Black Cherry soda. If this typically Jewish lunch doesn’t telegraph that her mentor in social work wasn’t named Schwartz or Greenbaum I don’t know what does.
Gravity: Quite possibly the best movie of 2013, certainly the most technically advanced. Shot in long, highly choreographed takes, this interplanetary adventure is a high-energy, survivalist film of the best kind. While it is 90 minutes of non-stop action, there actually is a story, and Sandra Bullock takes the few character moments she’s given and runs with it. It is a great performance from a gifted woman who can do drama, comedy and, at this point, basically no wrong. Gossip-mongers are still reading the tea leaves to determine if Bullock is Jewish. There are some who say her mother may have been, others who say she observes “in her own way.” It is known that she employed a mohel for the circumcision of her son. What Gentile does that? Oh, but back to this movie – it’s terrific. Spend the extra shekels for 3D, it’s worth it.
Enough Said: Jewish-American comedienne Julia Louis-Dreyfus stars in this touching, grown-up romantic dramedy opposite the late James Gandolfini. The “hook” is that she falls for this new guy just as she makes a new friend (Catherine Keener) – a woman she greatly admires. After about 20 minutes of screentime she discovers that, whoopsie!, the ex-husband Keener’s been kvetching about is, in fact, her new beau Gandolfini. That Preston Sturges-like set up, however, is just a clothesline on which to pin a number of finely observed character moments in this touching and realistic film.
The Congress: Ari Folman, the Israeli director behind “Waltz With Bashir,” returns with another animation/live action hybrid – this time delving into surreal, science fiction territory. Starting off in the not-too-distant future, Robin Wright (playing a version of herself) agrees to be scanned into a computer database that will own the rights to her image. Following a stream-of-consciousness line of logic, we then visit entertainment zones where virtual reality has totally conquered the mundane. This, then, explodes into a dystopian view of a society totally addicted to the possibility of dreams. This visually unmatched movie will either blow your mind or leave you completely cold. I say, go for it.
