As released hostages return home, they learn of relatives killed, homes destroyed
Along with the joy of reunion, a granddaughter and a cousin had bad news for the returnees, who they say are thinner but tough – with a long way to go in processing the nightmare
Jessica Steinberg, The Times of Israel's culture and lifestyles editor, covers the Sabra scene from south to north and back to the center
As the families of the first group of 13 released hostages reunited, two of their relatives related the process of welcoming their loved ones and filling in their 50-day gaps in knowledge, in an online press conference on Sunday.
A granddaughter of 85-year-old Yaffa Adar and a first cousin of Keren Munder — who was abducted along with her mother Ruti Munder and 9-year-old son Ohad Munder-Zichri — described emotional reunions as they met after days and nights of fear, sharing limited details about their capture and what happened on October 7, when their homes and kibbutz communities were overrun by Hamas terrorists.
“I got a chance to hug her again two days ago,” said Adva Adar, whose grandmother Yaffa was hauled off in a golf cart by Hamas terrorists, staring ahead stoically with a pink floral blanket wrapped around her.
Yaffa “is an amazing and tough woman,” said Adar. “Her body and soul are trying to adjust — she was strong and she will understand as time passes.”
The same goes for three generation of Munders.
Part of the return home included the families finding out what happened during their captivity and the former hostages beginning to understand what took place back home.
Keren Munder told her cousin Merav Raviv that she thought their release would take much longer. She didn’t know about the war, had no idea that the entire country was rallying for their release, or that their faces are plastered all over Israel.
“They don’t have a clue about what happened here with the hostages,” said Raviv. “They didn’t know anything. They didn’t know they’re famous.”
On a more personal level, the Munder family thought that Ruti, Keren and Ohad were taken captive together with Ruti’s husband, Avraham Munder.
But it was only once they returned that they heard that Avraham, who walks with a cane and has bad eyesight, had survived the terrorist attack in their Kibbutz Nir Oz home as his wife, daughter and grandson were abducted.
They were sure he had been killed, but Avraham was abducted separately.
“Until yesterday, they thought he was murdered,” said Merav Raviv.
The family also had to tell Ruti, Keren and Ohad that Roi Munder, Keren’s brother, had been killed and his home burned to the ground.
“They couldn’t find DNA to identify his body,” said Raviv. “It was very, very, very emotional.”
On October 7, thousands of terrorists from Gaza breached the barrier, and rampaged murderously through nearby Israeli communities. They killed some 1,200 people, mostly civilians, amid horrific acts of brutality, and abducted at least 240. Nir Oz was one of the hardest-hit communities.
The Munders had lived in Nir Oz for nearly 60 years, said Raviv. They married there, raised Keren and Roi on the kibbutz, and Roi had just turned 50.
“We had to tell my Aunt Ruti that she can’t go back to Nir Oz yet; it will take like two years to rebuild it,” said Raviv, adding that Ruti Munder is planning on joining the other Nir Oz evacuees in Kiryat Gat.
Ohad, now 9 after marking his birthday in Gaza, is a “very smart, sensitive kid,” said Raviv, and already reunited with some friends. He’s also lucky to be able to return to his home in Kfar Saba, unlike so many of the other kids taken hostage from the Gaza-adjacent communities.
Keren Munder told her cousin they ate mostly rice and pita in captivity, and slept on rows of molded plastic seats, the kind used in waiting rooms. When they needed to use the bathroom, they would knock on the door, and sometimes had to wait an hour and a half.
“They were eating, but not regularly,” said Raviv. “There were days they only ate pita.”
They lost weight, said their relatives.
“The recovery from this event will be long. She will need to process it,” said Adva Adar, referring to the medical and emotional care that Yaffa Adar is receiving. “We’re with her to hug her and make her feel safe, to help her recover her sense of security. She’s getting more information about what happened here so she’s putting the pieces together.”
Yaffa Adar already had a sense on October 7 of the destruction rained on her kibbutz, said her granddaughter, but she didn’t know that her entire home had been destroyed.
“She’s in her 80s and needs to start over,” said Adar. “Usually when you’re in your 80s, you have your house, your memories, your photo albums, and she has nothing. In her old age, she needs to start over and that’s very hard.”
Yaffa Adar also has a grandson who was taken hostage and is still in Gaza — Tamir Adar, another Nir Oz resident.
“The fight isn’t over,” said Adva Adar. “We’re trying to recover as a family, to help her recover from this hell, and we still need to demand the return of each and every hostage.”
But the families’ great joy and relief over the return of at least some of their loved ones was still there.
“I’m so proud to be her granddaughter,” said Adar. “I’m looking at her and the way she survived this and the strength she’s showing, and the way she was able to still hold hope to be returned.”
