Avoiding the Rabbinate, 3,000 Israeli couples married last year in Utah’s ‘Zoom weddings’

When Eilam Sher and his fiancee Vicky decided to get married, they knew they did not want to tie the knot through the Chief Rabbinate, though they were eligible to do so. Instead, they celebrated their wedding in September 2020 by holding a private ceremony in Israel that was not recognized in any way by the state.

They then planned to fly abroad, have a civil marriage in a foreign country, possibly Cyprus, and register their union at home, as many Israelis do. However, it was the height of the COVID pandemic, with flights scarce and travel a major challenge.

“I learned about the possibility of getting married remotely in Utah through Facebook groups of couples in similar situations and we decided to do it,” Sher told The Times of Israel over a phone interview. “We got married in January 2021 on a Zoom call with a Utah official, our parents, and a couple of friends who joined as witnesses. We were expecting a bureaucratic moment, but the officiator was very sweet, we opened a bottle of wine, and it felt good.”

In 2024, some 3,000 couples in which at least one spouse is Israeli got married through Utah’s video-conferencing system, according to new data released on Tuesday by Hiddush, an Israeli organization that aims to promote religious freedom and equality, which received the figures from the US state.

Of the total 27,000 marriage licenses issued by Utah, about a third were granted to foreign couples, with Israelis making up about 30 percent of the non-US citizens using the system. The figure marked a significant increase from the previous period for which Hiddush received data, when some 637 couples were married within the Utah system during a 15-month stretch between 2020 and 2021.

“Israel has been struggling with the conflict between religion and state and religion and politics ever since its inception,” said Hiddush CEO Rabbi Uri Regev. “There is a clear gap between the founding promise etched in the Declaration of Independence for freedom of religion and conscience and the reality in which, ironically, Israel is probably the only democracy where Jews are being denied free of choice in terms of religious matters.”

Israel has no civil marriage due to the objection of religious political parties, but recognizes civil unions formed abroad. Israeli Jews must marry through the ultra-Orthodox dominated Chief Rabbinate, Christians through their churches and Muslims via sharia courts.

Vicky and Eilam Sher got married over video-conference through the US state of Utah in 2021. (Courtesy)

The lack of options for civil marriage or a Jewish marriage not conducted by the Chief Rabbinate impacts hundreds of thousands of Israelis.

“There are people who either cannot marry in the country because they are not recognized as Jewish by the rabbinate, or who identify as secular and would prefer to get married in a civil marriage,” said Regev. “Reform or Conservative Jews cannot celebrate their weddings according to their system, and Orthodox Jews who would like a more egalitarian ceremony are also denied alternative options.”

Regev noted that it is very hard to obtain an accurate picture of how many Israelis choose to marry abroad every year, as a significant percentage do not register their union in Israel or only do so years later.

The most recent data on Israelis marrying abroad and registering their marriage in Israel published by the Central Bureau of Statistics covers 2022, when some 9,200 overseas weddings were registered in the country. About 40% of those were celebrated in 2022 and the rest in previous years.

In addition, according to Regev, the country is witnessing a growing trend of couples cohabitating without getting married.

After Utah amended its state law in 2020 to allow online weddings, its Zoom weddings quickly became a popular option among Israeli couples. While the Interior Ministry tried to prevent the registration of such weddings, the Supreme Court ruled in March 2023 that the State of Israel is obligated to do so.

“Ever since the 1960s, the Supreme Court has systematically rendered aid to couples,” said Regev. “It’s clear to me that part of the reason why the court has done it is because the court is aware that no democracy denies its citizens the right to marry, and Israel does so.”

According to the Hiddush Annual Religion and State Index 2024, 67% of the public supports recognizing all types of marriages in Israel, including civil, Reform, and Conservative.

The survey also found that most Jewish Israelis (69%) are unaware of the Utah option.

Sher said that he hopes that more people who wish to marry outside the Chief Rabbinate will learn about the possibility.

“Our experience was very positive,” he said. “We paid a few hundred dollars via credit card, and a month later, we received our marriage license in the mail. It is much cheaper than flying abroad, and the application process is easy. In the beginning, the State of Israel did not want to register us, but after the Supreme Court ruling, Utah marriages count as any other marriage abroad.”

“It is absurd that Israel does not recognize freedom of marriage,” Sher added. “I think many more Israelis will choose Utah weddings if they learn about it.”

Jeremy Sharon contributed to this report.