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Parody site knocks ‘huckster’ Kerry

Settler-produced website and accompanying video portray secretary of state as the man with the wrong solution for everything

John Kerry of John Kerry Solutions Ltd. (screen capture: YouTube)
John Kerry of John Kerry Solutions Ltd. (screen capture: YouTube)

With US Secretary of State John Kerry making the rounds in the region yet again this week to push a “framework” Israeli-Palestinian peace agreement, the usual suspects have launched a parody site poking fun at the frequently flying American diplomat.

The website for “John Kerry Solutions Ltd.,” at, paints the secretary of state as a huckster peddling solutions — ranging from the merely half-baked to the downright ridiculous — to a plethora of problems.

“Having issues with a friend? Need an original idea for a costume?” reads a page on the site titled “About John.”

You can probably guess where it goes from there: “John has the answer! John Kerry Solutions Ltd. We don’t have good solutions, but you’ve got to try something, right?”

Another page presents “testimonials” from “customers” thanking Kerry for solving their problems.

Here’s one:

Dear John,
What a creative solution! It’s so great that you managed to save my position at the Bushehr nuclear reactor. Don’t worry, we’re preparing a large gift for you. It’ll be da bomb…

Ominously, the site’s “Contact Us” link is broken.

The people behind “John Kerry Solutions Ltd.” — it was created by the right-wing group My Israel with the backing of the umbrella organization of West Bank settlements – also embedded a YouTube video featuring a man who has discovered at the worst possible time that he has no toilet paper.

Luckily, John Kerry is on hand to offer the man the half-assed (sorry) solution of a live porcupine along with a baffling gallery of stupid knickknacks that eventually ruin the poor sap’s life.

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