After initial ecstasy of freedom, released hostages face long road to recovery

‘I don’t think my brain has really grasped everything,’ says Ilana Gritzewsky, who came back in November 2023

FILE: Released hostage Ilana Gritzewsky poses for a portrait in her apartment in Kiryat Gat, Israel, on December 15, 2024, near photos of her boyfriend, Matan Zangauker, who is being held hostage by Hamas in the Gaza Strip. (AP Photo/Tsafrir Abayov)
FILE: Released hostage Ilana Gritzewsky poses for a portrait in her apartment in Kiryat Gat, Israel, on December 15, 2024, near photos of her boyfriend, Matan Zangauker, who is being held hostage by Hamas in the Gaza Strip. (AP Photo/Tsafrir Abayov)

AP — When Ilana Gritzewsky returned to Israel after being held captive in Gaza for 55 days in November 2023, she had so much adrenaline coursing through her body she couldn’t sleep for two days.

“You don’t understand that it’s really over,” Gritzewsky recalled. “You don’t know who you are or even what your name is.”

Gritzewsky, 31, who is originally from Mexico, was kidnapped with her boyfriend from Kibbutz Nir Oz on October 7, 2023, when Hamas-led terrorists burst across the border, killing some 1,200 people and kidnapping 251, in an attack that sparked the war in Gaza.

Gritzewsky was released after 55 days during the only previous ceasefire deal. More than a year later, Gritzewsky has lingering health issues. She hasn’t regained all of the weight that she lost, she’s prediabetic, and has lingering pain issues from the kidnapping, when her pelvis and jaw were broken and her leg was burned from the exhaust of the Hamas men’s motorcycle. She suffered hearing loss in one ear.

“I’m still not able to really take care of myself,” she said. “I don’t think my brain has really grasped everything I’ve gone through.”

She acknowledges that she has neglected her own recovery as she advocates tirelessly for her boyfriend’s release.

Fifteen hostages have been released from Gaza in the current ceasefire, in exchange for hundreds of Palestinian prisoners and detainees. Hamas is expected to release small groups weekly throughout the ceasefire’s initial six-week phase. There are some 80 hostages left in Gaza, almost half of whom Israel believes to be dead.

Released hostage Ilana Gritzewsky poses for a portrait in her apartment in Kiryat Gat, Israel, on December 15, 2024, while holding a pillow with a photo of herself and her boyfriend, Matan Zangauker, who is being held hostage by Hamas in the Gaza Strip. (AP Photo/Tsafrir Abayov)

The joy of a warm embrace, and a new reality sets in

When Gritzewsky was freed, she was able to do what she had dreamed of during her captivity: hug her mother and see her family.

She was desperate for a good steak, but due to concerns about health complications spurred by eating too much or too quickly in those with prolonged vitamin and nutritional deficiencies, it took time before she could eat what she wanted.

“You’re used to hostage conditions, so whenever you get food, you put some to the side. You ask if you can go to the bathroom, if you can sleep,” she said.

The lead-up to her release was traumatic. Gritzewsky said she was told four times she was being released, only to be brought to a different location. Each time her transfer didn’t lead to freedom.

Ilana Gritzewsky, released hostage and girlfriend of hostage Matan Zangauker, participates in a Tel Aviv protest calling for a hostage-ceasefire deal with the Hamas terror group, September 21, 2024. (Gil Levin/Pro-Democracy Protest Movement)

“I thought this was going to be my life forever, that I was going to be a doll for Hamas terrorists, I’d end up having babies with them. I wanted to just smash my head into the wall and die,” she said.

Watching the released hostages enter Israel over the past week was a “storm of emotions,” said Gritzewsky.

“It’s finally starting. Our heroes are starting to come out, and they’re leaving on their own two feet,” she said. But there’s also uncertainty about whether the ceasefire will hold. Gritzewsky’s boyfriend, Matan Zangauker, 25, is not on the list of 33 hostages expected to be released in the first stage of the ceasefire.

Demonstrators raise placards, including one showing a large picture of Matan Zangauker, and wave flags during an anti-government protest demanding action for the release of hostages, in Tel Aviv on December 7, 2024. (Jack GUEZ / AFP)

Adjusting to regaining autonomy

The hostages stay in the hospital for several days as they undergo a battery of tests to determine the next steps. All 15 of the hostages released over the past two weeks returned in stable condition but were suffering from “mild starvation” and vitamin deficiencies, according to Dr. Ami Banov, an Israeli military doctor who has treated the released hostages.

He said many of them suffered injuries in the October 7, 2023, Hamas attack and that the medical care they received was nonexistent or of poor quality. Many of them still have pieces of shrapnel in their bodies.

Released hostage soldier Agam Berger meets her four comrades, Karina Ariev, Daniella Gilboa, Naama Levy, and Liri Albag, at Rabin Medical Center, January 30, 2025. (Israel Defense Forces)

Some of the women who returned recently said they were held in tunnels and deprived of sunlight for at least eight months straight, said Banov, which can lead to major vision or skin issues. Those who were held in captivity with others seem to be faring better mentally than hostages who were kept alone, he said.

Each hostage is accompanied by a dedicated team of doctors, nurses, specialists, psychologists and social workers.

One of the most important things is allowing the returned hostage to lead the recovery, explained Ofrit Shapira, a psychoanalyst who heads a group of health professionals treating freed hostages, their families and survivors of the October 7 attack. Everyone treating them must ask their permission for each little thing, from turning off a light to changing bedsheets to carrying out medical tests.

Freed hostage Gadi Mozes, second right, with his children Oded, Moran and Yair at Ichilov hospital on January 30, 2025. (Courtesy)

“They took everything away that defines them as humans, especially privacy and autonomy, and it’s a challenge to help them regain that,” she said.

Doctors refer to this process as “grounding,” said Banov, who likened it to a decompression process, gradually helping the hostages understand they have regained control over such decisions as what to eat, what to wear and where and when to meet their families.

“We feel obligated to give them the option to do whatever they feel is right,” he said. But he said everything is being done in “very small steps.”

Adina Moshe was freed after 49 days in captivity. In a first-person account on the Channel 12 website, she said some hostages will return knowing little about any destruction to their homes or the fates of their loved ones. They will remain suspicious of people and have to contend with aggressive media. Any improvement in their condition can easily be reversed, she said.

Palestinian terrorists abduct Adina Moshe from her home in Kibbutz Nir Oz to the Gaza Strip on October 7, 2023. (AP Photo)

“In their souls, they will continue to remain in the tunnels for a long time,” she wrote.

Repairing ‘the wounds of the soul’

Avichai Brodutch, whose wife and three children were kidnapped on October 7 from Kibbutz Kfar Aza and returned in the November 2023 truce, will never forget waiting for them to return in the hospital, and the moment he saw them for the first time.

“The elevator doors opened and I got my family, reborn,” he said.

Brodutch said the return was both overwhelming and joyful because he feared his family had been killed during Hamas’s initial attack. He said they returned thin and lice-ridden.

The reunification of the Brodutch family, with father Avihai embracing his children who were held by terrorists in Gaza for 51 days, November 27, 2023. (Schneider Medical Center)

The physical issues were quickly treated. But Brodutch said captivity left a lasting imprint on his family’s mental well-being. Each day, he hears a new story about something that happened in Gaza. They relive October 7 over and over, and the challenges remain largest for his wife, Hagar, who cared for their three children and a neighbor’s child, Abigail Edan, then 3, while in captivity.

“It’s going to take a long time to repair the wounds of the soul,” he said.

Times of Israel contributed to this article.

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