‘There is peace for the soul’: Parents of slain ex-hostage Itay Chen now ready to grieve

After the body of their son, Staff Sgt. Itay Chen, was returned from Gaza, Ruby and Hagit Chen said Wednesday that they felt a measure of relief and closure, even as they vowed to keep fighting for the return of the remaining hostages and pressed Israel’s leaders to launch a state inquiry into the failures that led to Hamas’s October 7, 2023, onslaught.

“We finally can say, ‘Itay came home,’” said Ruby Chen, Itay’s father, speaking to the press, describing his son as a smiling kid who loved Israel and was proud to enlist in the IDF and to protect the land of the Jews.

He recounted the events of October 7, when his son was taken from a tank near Nahal Oz along with Capt. Daniel Perez and Sgt. Tomer Leibovitz, who were both killed, and Matan Angrest, one of the 20 living hostages who was released on October 13 as part of a ceasefire deal.

The IDF confirmed Tuesday that Itay’s body had been recovered and identified after being transferred by Hamas to the Red Cross in Gaza City. The remains were escorted to Israel for forensic verification at the Abu Kabir Forensic Institute in Tel Aviv.

Itay was the last slain hostage with American citizenship to be returned from Gaza. The bodies of seven other hostages remain in the Strip.

Ruby Chen said the family had fought across continents to bring their son home, and described the devastating moment when, 148 days after the attack, the family “received the terrible knock on the door” from IDF casualty officers, telling them that their son would probably not return alive and that they should begin shiva — the seven-day Jewish mourning period.

“I looked at my wife and we said, ‘That’s not happening because he’s not back,’” Chen recalled. “We don’t finish this until he comes home.”

He added that he asked people not to say the words, “his memory is a blessing” — a Jewish phrase used when referring to the deceased — when mentioning Itay’s name, until their son’s body was returned home.

“Now we’ll sit shiva,” Chen said, while maintaining that they will not stop fighting for the remaining hostages until they are all home and the fight is over.

Chen recounted that when Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu called to offer condolences, he told the premier his son’s death must not be in vain. He urged Netanyahu to establish a state commission of inquiry into the failures of October 7, saying, “Two years is enough time to wait for answers.”

He also expressed gratitude to the Hostages and Missing Families Forum, US special envoy Steve Witkoff, US President Donald Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner, US hostages envoy Adam Boehler, the German government and Ambassador Steffen Seibert, as well as Netanyahu and the IDF, for their assistance.

Hagit Chen, Itay’s mother, said that his return provided her with a measure of solace.

“My beloved Itay, my beautiful boy, came home. My heart is broken. There is no joy in laying your child to rest, but there is relief and there is peace for the soul. Mine and his,” she said.

“Every family of the fallen hostages deserves this bare minimum: a grave for their loved ones,” she said, listing the names of the final seven hostages. “We cannot leave these families living in dread that their loved one is abandoned in the ruins of Gaza.”

Chen, 19, of the 7th Armored Brigade’s 75th Battalion, from Netanya, was killed on October 7 while battling the Hamas invasion of southern Israel, and his body was taken captive to Gaza.

Itay was stationed near the Gaza border that Saturday morning – he had swapped weekends off with another comrade so he could ensure he would be home for his younger brother’s bar mitzvah a week later.

While Itay was initially considered a hostage, the IDF determined in March 2024 that he had been killed during the initial onslaught and his body taken captive to Gaza.

Itay was born and raised in Netanya, the middle child of a New York-born father and an Israeli native mother.

He loved to play and watch basketball, his family said, and he was a big fan of the Boston Celtics, to the dismay of his Knicks-loving father. Though he grew up in Israel, the family would regularly take trips to New York to visit family in Brooklyn and Long Island.

Itay was active in his local scouting troop, first as a participant and later as a counselor, and he loved to play PlayStation and hang out with the beloved family dog, Gucci. He enjoyed breakdancing, singing and indoor rock climbing, his family said.

Speaking to the press, Hagit recounted that his body had been returned along with a t-shirt from his beloved scouts that he had been wearing under his tank overalls.